economies of scale

i kind of want to say that today i experienced what layoffs are for the first time, but this makes it sound like a very personal thing, a thing which happened to me. that was not the case

instead, i was sort of circumspect to the events. about 10 coworkers of mine were given their goodbye today, and it was just a kind of oddly false feeling thing. false in the sense that i fully expect to see them tomorrow morning, if that makes sense

i know that every generation goes through its down moments. i know that for my parents, the early 80s were really brutal, and i've heard them recount tales of borrowing money, of not being able to purchase things taken for granted now. and though technically alive for that, honestly, no one my age has any recollection of such things

i don't have too much to say on this i guess, i dunno, i just wanted to lay out some brief thoughts. in the scheme of things i am doing well at the current moment and really have nothing to worry about, but in a way the current moment is exemplary of a thing that scares many of us : not being able to alter those things completely out of our control. as much as i might read about, talk about, or personally experience some of the difficulties of the moment, i cannot change the current circumstance. i might be able to decide my reaction to events, sure, but i cannot determine these events. i'm not saying that life is full solely of events we all choose, not by any means, but there are some situations that are almost scarily outside the realm of choice

i know i'm rambling, but i guess all i can say is that i do hope that people with the ability to make choices that can effect improvement do make those choices. i do hope that the people i personally know who are reeling will be okay. i do hope that i will somehow be able to manage better those things that are actually in my control

quick update

unfortunately the past two weeks, rather than being full of time to be creative, have been full of some things approaching busy-work, some things not. needless to say it has been busy

i do hope to have time enough to do a proper posting on the weekend

last saturday, i read cormac mccarthy's the road in its entirety because, well, i needed a bit of relaxing time and reading is that. it took a while to adjust to the style of it, not an altogether uncommon thing i guess. but it was a pretty decent read. by way of being lazy, i will leave you with a short part i thought was really good:

"The one thing I can tell you is that you wont survive for yourself. I know because I would never have come this far. A person who had no one would be well advised to cobble together some passable ghost. Breathe it into being and coax it along with words of love. Offer it each phantom crumb and shield it from harm with your body. As for me my only hope is for eternal nothingness and I hope it with all my heart."